Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. Psalm 37:7
Every year around this time I find myself looking back at the last 12 months. Remember what I said about being sentimental and hanging onto things? Every year, it never fails...I hang onto the year until the very last second. When that clock hits 11:59, I relive the year in 60 seconds. It's almost like when that clock hits midnight, that's it! The year is gone. Last year was a little difficult because at 11:59 I stared at the clock thinking "This is the year our sweet Ava was given to us. The new year is about to begin....2007 will be in the past." Does it sound strange? I have thought of New Years like that ever since I can remember. And I will let you in something personal. In those 60 seconds as I am waiting for the next year to hit (and yes, I am well aware that Diane next door could have been sitting in the next year for 5 minutes already) I thank God for every last thing that happened that year. I mean everything. I pray the fastest most all-in-one prayer He has ever heard and I also pray that He can understand me as I pray the fastest all-in-one prayer He has ever heard. It is literally as if I am holding on to the year with my finger tips and then I let go when the clock turns 12 midnight. And when I let go, it's a new year. A new file for that mental file cabinet. New memories. New hopes.
This last year, I have learned a lot. I can't even go into some of it otherwise we would miss the new year all together and my entry today would be wrapping up in 2010. But I can tell you one thing. I have truly come to realize the power of prayer, the power of God, the power of love, the power of trust. This year has brought with it the realization that if you wait, God's grace will show itself in your life. And it is hard to wait for it. My goodness, is it hard to wait. But it comes. He comes. And this year, He has certainly been present. And of course, He has always been with me -- sometimes I was the one who stumbled. But this year, and I think I can speak for Keith, too when I say that I have really felt His presence.
My heart is overflowing with thanks for our family. It is through our family that His miraculous work has made it into our lives. Thank you, thank you, thank you a million times over. I have said it before and I will say it again, we are so incredibly blessed. Our pastor at IBC, Andy, once spoke about spiritual barriers. Spiritual barriers are anything that stand in our way from living the life that God made for us. Sometimes we break down those barriers all by ourselves. Other times, people in our lives lead us to break down those barriers. I look back at my life and I can very easily think about the people who led me to kick my barriers down. My family members are at the top of that list. The grace they have shown Keith, Ava, and I leaves me saying "Wow...this is God's work." Vague, I know...but just break down the barriers, hang on, and wait.
As for 2009...who knows what it will bring. But for some reason, I feel like something great will happen. I don't know why. There are still prayers that I am hoping will be answered. I think God is just mulling them over. And I will hang on and wait patiently for Him.
Happy New Year ~ Thanks for reading.
There she is! Yeah, this was taken before church.
Ava and her cousin Natalie were so precious. Natalie just reached her hand out and Ava held it. They were walking around the entire house like this. All the cameras busted out like papparazzi. Ava was so slow and Natalie just waited for her. Sigh. It was so cute.
We developed a new skill. We can now get up and down from the couch! It's pretty funny to watch (and listen to as well!) Ava's new trick comes complete with a bunch of grunts, uh's, oo's, and when she gets up she concludes with a hand clap (which must be followed by your own), and a "Goot gul"...("Good girl," in Ava-niese.)
I would definitely say that I am a sentimental person. When I was little I remember going to a school carnival and getting my face painted. Then of course, when I got home my mom made me take a shower. Boy did I love that face paint. I mean, it had become a part of me. Of course the water from the shower made the face paint start to come off. So, since that rainbow (and clouds) had made it's home on my cheek for a whole hour, it deserved to be saved. I remember taking the pieces of paint off of my cheek and putting them on the edge of the bathtub so they could hang for dear life. It was like watching my best friend dissolve before my very eyes.
I am so proud of my brother. He is a very accomplished camera man for NBC in San Antonio. Ava found some of his media tags from various things he covered. Being the natural Elizabeth Taylor that she is, she put those things around her neck all by herself. She calls it "joo-joo" (you and I would translate that to "jewelry.") She clunked around in her Keds like she was America's Next Top Model. She was so proud.
And this is my Emmy. I won it for sitting in the car with Lil' Miss Priss the whole way to San Antonio. Then I let my brother hang onto it for me. I figured it belonged with him. But just because it has his name on it, doesn't mean I won't kidnap it someday. I mean, it just felt so... so natural. It's real! It doesn't even have chocolate on the inside!
